Singapore Sunrise

I just watched the sunrise on my second day in Singapore and realized - I live in Singapore now!

On my first night I went with a huge group from the office, including the entire Thai language team, to their favorite Thai restaurant in Singapore. I love how multi-cultural Singapore is - our table had people from Singapore, China, India, Thailand, Vietnam, New Zealand, Lebanon, Japan, and the US. I sat next to a girl from Thaliand named Mook and a guy from Chennai named Chandra. Chandra and I talked about India and we played a word game with Charif (another friend from the office - see Singapore blog entry from May) and his fiancee Tomoko (from Japan), where we would hold a conversation and each person had to answer their part in a different language. We went through about 10 languages including English, Hindi, Arabic, Italian, Chinese, French, Russian, Malay and Tamil.

I think all of Singapore has a college dorm/camp atmosphere where there are so many foreigners and visitors all the time that everyone is always out to meet new people - a great way to make lots of fun and interesting friends! Oh, and the Thai restaurant had a framed headshot of Keanu Reeves next to a picture of the Thai royal family. I love Singapore.

I bought my easypass for the MRT (subway) - I love how efficient Singapore is. You buy one card that you can keep in your wallet and just add money to whenever. You don't even have to put it in a machine, you just need to beep it. And lucky for me, my Kate Spade wallet that I bought in Hong Kong last year at Pacific Place has a little place for your public transport card because it was specially marketed for Hong Kong, which uses a similar public transport system (but they call theirs the much cooler "Octopus"). I think I'm officially Singaporean now that I have my permanent MRT pass :)

I chatted up the taxi driver again. I love talking to taxi drivers and started to make it a pattern in Sydney. They're always really interesting, and almost always immigrants from all over the world. I'm going to start a series in my blog wherein I talk to every taxi driver for the length of my journey and report back.

Last night's driver was caucasian but had a singlish accent! I asked him where he was from and he said "I get to ask you those questions" (!) So I played along and he told me how international Singapore is, and I told him that I moved to Singapore today. He told me he speaks Malay and Chinese, and I told him I speak English, French, Italian, Russian and Hindi. Then he told me I was very smart and we talked about how I studied music and how Singapore will be a great place to learn more languages. Then when we got to my place he wished me luck, said "god bless you" and handed me a pamphlet about Christianity called "good news..." I didn't catch his name which is too bad because it could have given me a clue as to his origin - is he one of the rare 'native' caucasian Singaporeans whose ancestors moved here 200 years ago as traders? Either way, the cartoon Christianity pamphlet, featuring an eskimo, a boy in a sumbraro, a boy in a fez, a boy in a chinese straw hat, a boy in ancient egyptian (?) clothes, and a girl in a german beer-garden outfit in English and Chinese was totally worth it.

I then enjoyed my first experience grocery shopping in Singapore at a Japanese grocery chain called 'Meidi-ya." Half the store was also occupied with freezer containers of non-descript packaged items with labeling in Japanese. Walking around I just thought "Wow, I'm finally in Asia!" The other half of the store was made up of a hodge-podge of imported items from around the world. My favorite items for sale were "silky tofu," "pickled leeks" and "gourmet Doritos." I wonder if gourmet Doritos come with gourmet bean dip? Perhaps I should host a party and offer my guests gourmet Doritos as an entree - they are, after all, imported...

Off to try to find my way to the MRT station for work now!

Dinner at 'First Thai'

Keanu fans of the world unite...

Christian pamphlet from "I ask you those questions" taxi driver

View from my apartment at night

View from my new desk at work

Ta, Cheers & More to My Aussie Mates

Royal National Park

Last yummy dessert at the Lindt chocolate cafe with Shaheen

Sea Bay Pizza with Emma and Ryan - sooooo many dumplings

Last day in Oz - Almost surfing at Manly with Victoria (ended up swimming instead ;)

Last dinner in Oz with Jenn, Carlos, and Gabriel in Newtown - last Aussie fish n' chips!

Yesterday I moved to Singapore. I don't know how many people can say that! It sounds quite exotic to me :)

In the Aussie (and 'Strine') spirit, as I was leaving Australia after 5 amazing weeks, I found myself thinking "Bloody Oath, are you taking the mickey outta me?" to so many things. Here are the Top 10:

1. Bloody Oath! I've been here 5 weeks! Does Australia time go faster? I feel like it's passed by in a blink!
2. Bloody Oath! Everyone so incredibly friendly, awesome and welcoming!
   
3. Bloody Oath! I only had 1 pavlova the entire time I was there- for shame!
4. Bloody Oath! Vegemite still tastes as bad as it did the first time I tried it (not a taste I'm acquiring...)
5. Bloody Oath! There was an entire fridge of beer in the office that lasted for 4 days without being emptied!
6. Bloody Oath! I won't get to watch the funny little train take tourists the 300 metres around Darling Harbour anymore!
7. Bloody Oath! After 5 weeks the only words I can say with a semi-convincing Australian accent are "G'Day" and "Pavlova."
8. Bloody Oath! What an amazing group of people here, I can't believe I'll no longer be able to see them every day!
9. Bloody Oath! I've met so many amazing mates!
   
10. Bloody Oath! I'm gonna miss it!
    

I also want to give a special shout out to Jenn, Kate, Shaheen, Tristan, and many more people who went out of their ways to help me make the most of my time in Australia. From monsoonal beach picnics, to watching footie with the mates, to haunted hotels and margaritas at Orbit, to an amazing evening on the water and so many other things- I had an amazing time in Oz.

If you enjoy my meagre attempts at Strine, you may also enjoy my Strine Story for Beddy-Byes that I wrote in Perth with the help of my best Aussie mates :)

But for now, I must close my Australian session, so that I can get onto the next great adventure - I moved to Singapore today!

The Wonderful Penguins of Oz

"Oh we're off to see the penguins, the wonderful penguins of Oz...."

Who saw wild penguins? I did!

At dusk, thousands of little midnight-blue penguins came popping up out of the water in little groups. Waddle, waddle, waddle...plop.

Phillip Island, about 2 hours from Melbourne, is the home of the smallest species of the 28 species of penguins. Every night, after swimming around and eating all day, they come waddling into shore at dusk and burrow into holes in the ground to sleep.

In September, like a high school prom, they waddle out of the water awkwardly, wondering if they're going to find that special someone, groom themselves carefully, fight each other by slapping each other with their little flippers, and then pair up and make cooing sounds in the tall grass before they retire for the evening into their holes.

I learned all of these things firsthand when I went to Phillip Island last weekend while I was in Melbourne. I also went to a koala preserve where they have boardwalks through the eucalyptus trees so that you can get right up close to them in their natural habitat - and boy do you get close! I love that in Australia you can just drive a few miles from the city and go see koalas and penguins in the wild!


I spent my Friday night watching Footie with a bloke from the office and his mates while eating pizza and drinking Cooper's :) I was told by one bloke that I speak with a 'twang.'

I am now an expert in Aussie Football. Here are the most important things to note about Aussie Rules Football:

Aussie rules are a combination of rules from every sport. You can drop kick the ball like soccer, hit the ball like serving a volleyball, you have to dribble the ball every so often like basketball because traveling is against the rules, and you have to get it between the posts like soccer, and the guys beat each other up like rugby. I'm still trying to find the rule from cricket, but I'm sure that there is one. Also, the field is shaped like a football - how awesome is that? Oh, and the players wear really short shorts. The game is really fast-paced like soccer and basketball, a definite step up from boring American football.

I then retired to my hotel from the Shining (see picture below for proof) where I was awakened in the middle of the night to a child screaming in the hallway (or a ghost child, didn't feel like finding out..).

On Saturday I went to Phillip Island with a friend who came down from Sydney, and we had very dramatic weather - excellent for picture-taking and penguins. On Sunday, we went to the Great Ocean Road and found a town that had an entire shopping center devoted to surfing- Every single store in the mall was a surf shop! And yet, once again, I love Australia because even in the surfing town, there were cafes everywhere serving yummy food and fancy coffee drinks, to enjoy while you watch people in wetsuits pass.

Now I'm back in Sydney and I only have one more week! I can't believe it! How has the time passed this quickly? I demand a recount!

I went on a harbour cruise with my office-mates last night around Sydney Harbour. The boat showed up half an hour late - just enough time for everyone to have moved to the bar by the wharf to get the party started.

We hired some salsa dancers to do a demonstration and it turned out that our boat had absolutely zero space for dancing and they ended up dancing around the seating area in las vagas-style feather hat-things and frilly teeny-weeny bikinis. But, this really just made the whole thing more interesting (this plus the free-flowing alcohol available at all Australian parties).

I managed to sneak away before a group headed out for a late-night pub crawl after the boat returned to the King Street wharf by the office. Alas, I could have had some even better stories, but then I'd be too tired and hungover to write them down ;)

Me & Jenn in Melbourne

Sunset from the office on the 27th floor - Melbourne

Phillip Island

Jumping at the beach - Phillip Island

All work and no play make Jack a dull boy....The "Shining" Hotel in Melbourne

Koala conservation center - Phillip Island

Me & my mates - Jenn & Victoria on the Harbour Cruise

Melbourne Madness

Reporting in from the office in Melbourne. It’s Friday night and we had a lovely thunder storm, which created amazing views of the harbour from our office on the 27th floor. I’m currently watching the sunset over the river.

I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had the chance to talk about half the crazy things I’ve done in the last week. I have, however, discovered an excellent term to describe myself that I hope to perpetuate- I’m a stuff-ologist. I like thinking about stuff. Ideas, languages, history, philosophy, urban legends, superstitions, swear words, bad jokes- all float around me and get absorbed into my stuffology collection.

I arrived at 6am almost two weeks ago. I got to the apartment in downtown Sydney and, since it was afternoon California time, and I had managed to sleep for 9 hours of the 14 hour flight (thank god!), I immediately began unpacking. Rupa, one of my favourite friends in the whole world (see HyderabadAdventures), who was visiting Sydney from India, met me at 8am in the morning and we just lay around the apartment and caught up on a years worth of stuff.

Eventually we mobilized and took the underground to Circular Quay and had an exceedingly expensive coffee and muffin overlooking the opera house and Harbour Bridge. Then we hopped a ferry to Manly beach, where I got to experience the joy of a ferry going across “abnormally large swells” ie like those pirate ships rides at amusement parks that swing back and forth, except actually on water. Luckily, I wasn’t sitting near people who get motion sickness, or else it could have gotten ugly- “Welcome to Sydney, blaaaaaahhhhh…”

Rupa and I walked around the beach, which had such rough surf that it was closed to swimmers, and watched the best of the best surfers catching 20 ft waves. The water was still too cold to enjoy, but the bright sun and turquoise colour made it so enticing that we spent the afternoon tiptoeing up, getting our feet wet, squealing, and running away.

I began my Australian health food diet with a meal of fish and chips and beer, followed up by a double chocolate gelato at the ferry terminal. This is a diet that, against all efforts, I have managed to maintain over the last two weeks, and have only been saved from the fate of ultimate blob-dom by the fact that Sydney is an easily walkable city and I don’t have a car to tempt me into driving anywhere.


I spent my first week hanging out with Rupa as much as possible and met all the other ex-pats currently in Sydney (ex-pats doesn’t really sound right when they’re not in a 3rd world country) – a few peeps from Hyderabad, Shaheen and Sandeep, Emma (my British counterpart at work who is also moving to Singapore) and her Canadian husband, Ryan, and another American, Eric. The group was smaller than the hoards of foreigners in India, but still had the fun dynamic of camp or a freshman dorm, where everyone is foreign and sharing the same experience, even though they are coming from such different places.

I remembered how much fun it was in Oxford and India to be in a group of people like this who can have the “tehehe, you call those thongs? Thongs means something else at home….” conversations.

I’m now off to watch Australian football and eat pizza with some people from the office. I’m sure that this is will be a prime opportunity for me to absorb more stuff into my stuffology portfolio.

Back in the Land of Oz

“Thank you for flying Virgin Blue. We’re sorry that we’ve mucked up your day and we hope that the rest of your week will be better than the experience you’ve had flying with us tonight.

We thank you for being so kind and forgiving to our cabin crew and once again, we're sorry for ruining your week. Oh, and a reminder - it's bloody cold outside so you should put on a jumper if you have one.”

I love Australia.

I am sitting in a hotel room in Melbourne that’s so big that I can’t fit it into pictures – it is bigger than my aparment. I was welcomed to my room by Maria Callas singing a selection of Italian arias (including "Chichino Rossini's Senerentoler," according to the local radio commentator ;) which is playing on the local classical radio station. It was so loud that I actually went downstairs and ask them to call the room because I was afraid there was someone else in the room – what hotel plays Maria Callas as their welcome music? The hotel, a historical landmark that is almost 100 years old, is so big that it was at least a quarter mile walk between the “lift” and my room. I love being in the only country in the world where 100 years old seems even older than it does in the US.

I am hoping that the hotel does not turn out to be as haunted as it looks, because right now it is making the Vultura Negra in Transylvania seem like a bright and cheery place. And yet each room has a personal espresso maker and a view of downtown - I love Australia.


I've done another whirlwind month on three continents - From India, back to California, to Australia. With two suitcases in tow, I have headed over to Asia Pacific for the long haul, and I've been so busy that I haven't had time to write!

I've been in Sydney for a week and a half, taking in the early spring weather of 75 degrees and sunny, and have already managed to put my feet in the still-freezing water at both of Sydney's main beaches (Bondi and Manly), to pay a visit to the good ol' cat-sized bats in the botanical gardens, to make and eat a pavlova, and to eat and/or drink some form of rich chocolate every night.

Did I mention I love Australia?

I first remembered how much I love Australia the second I got on the Qantas flight from San Francisco and a cheery flight steward handed me a menu in my economy class seat with a 'Ta' (a word with multiple meanind including 'thanks,' 'you're welcome' and 'good-bye'). Even though a part of me was pawing at the stairway to business class upstairs (mostly the part that wouldn't be able to stretch out flat for the next 24 hours), another part of me enjoyed the flight more than Singapore's business class because of the difference in attitude among the passengers. Singapore's business class from Singapore through Hong Kong to San Francisco was full of serious, stressed-out middle-aged men in dark suits drinking and then passing out to avoid the stress of their stressful business lives. Qantas economy class was full of Americans on vacation to Australia and Australians returning home to their lovely, beach and chocolate-shop filled country after a holiday in the US.

Every time I come to Australia (this is my third time), I am stuck by how bright the sun is, how yummy the pastries are, and how cheery the people are. All excellent traits in my book.

However, as it is 11:30pm and I have work tomorrow, I must turn off Maria and retreat to bed to let the ghosts of the haunted hotel come find me so that I can have something to write about tomorrow.

The Expert Guide to Shopping in Hyderabad

By popular demand and with excellent feedback from visitors from Dublin to Sao Paolo, from to Sydney to Buenos Aires, from California to Tokyo, I bring you:

Ashley’s Expert Guide to Shopping in Hyderabad

(You learn a thing or two shopping in Hyderabad for 6 months…)

Fixed Price Stores:

These are stores where bargaining is as acceptable as it is in an American shopping mall (i.e. you’ll receive a chuckle at the notion).

Hyderabad Central: Great selection, moderate prices (great prices for the quality). Best place for a ‘one stop shop.’ Includes an extensive ‘Ethnic’ section as well as western and ‘fusion’ styles.

Neeru’s Elite (across from City Center Mall): The best place to get top quality formals including sarees and lahengas, but also one of the most expensive. Consistently good quality, huge selection of men’s and women’s formals, as well as a good salwar kameez selection and occasionally some ‘fusion’ fashions.

City Center: Looks kind of depressing, but is possibly the ‘malliest mall’ in Hyderabad. The best place to get ‘fusion’ clothing for women. Globus has ethnic, fusion, and western sections and Chemistry is a new Bombay chain that has some great western/fusion stuff, but at western prices (shirts for $30-40 US, dresses for $50-70 US). Globus is cheaper, but Chemistry has better quality.

FabIndia: Best for linens and clothes, but also contains an interesting random ‘organic’ section with things like soap and dried food. The clothing contains muted colors and avoids the bling of most other Indian clothing stores. More expensive than other retailers of equal quality (HYD Central, Neeru’s), but the selection of muted colors can’t be found elsewhere.

Metro Shoes Bombay: Best selection and quality, I bought several pairs here a year ago, and they are the only shoes I bought in India that haven’t broken yet. There are easily over 100 open-toed women’s shoes to choose from, including many western and Indian styles. They also carry some western brands like Levi’s and Geoxx. Most women’s shoes run 800-1400 Rs.

Levi’s (Jubilee Hills Location): Biggest selection of Levi’s in Hyderabad, this store is pretty big for Levi’s even compared to Levi’s stores in Europe. It sells all of the Levi’s designs from the European stores at 1/3 -> ½ the price. New jeans cost 2000 Rs ($50 US).

“Fixed Price Stores”:

These stores are “fixed price” because they have price tags but are willing to give discounts, especially for bulk purchases and/or purchases of expensive items. Approach bargaining with the ‘Is there a discount? What about bulk discounts?’ phrasing, since they may give the ‘this is a fixed price store’ line. Rest assured, they have given some hefty discounts in the past, despite the effectively optional price tags.

Saga: The best quality scarves and pashminas I’ve seen anywhere in India, with prices to match. Run by Kashmiris, the head salesman made me Kashmiri mint tea with bottled water and discussed Kashmiri culture for an hour before giving me a 40% discount on two pashminas (* queue ‘results not normal’ disclaimer, most people get 5% - 10% off). They also sell tchotchkes and carpets (they will try to sell you a carpet), but the tchotchkes you can buy elsewhere for significantly cheaper prices and equal quality. Ask for a discount, especially if you buy more than one, even if it is going to be a ‘lifetime gift’ as the salesman likes to put it. If you enjoy textiles you should ask to see the 40,000 Rs pashmina/scarf – it has the most amazing craftsmanship I’ve ever seen.

Maglam: This store, in an old house, has multiple stories of tchotchkes ranging from hookas to place settings to bed linens to elephant statues. If it is a common tchotchke sold in India, it is probably sold in this store. The prices are usually significantly higher than you would pay almost anywhere else, but it is easy to get a lot of things at once with reasonable quality. They most definitely will bargain, especially for bulk discounts – the more you spend the better discount you should shoot for.

Swagat: Popular ex-pat place to buy pearls and jewelry, this place has good quality and hefty discounts (although they are ‘discounts’ on marked-up prices). This doesn’t have a ‘market’ atmosphere, but bargaining is required or you will get fleeced. Try to go with someone knowledgeable about quality.

Markets:

Full price is for suckers.

Shilparamam: If you have time, you should go here first and last. First so that you can see what they have that you want and get an idea for the cost so that if you see the items at fixed price stores later, you’ll know if it is a good price. And last because this has the most extensive selection of Indian crafts (textiles, wooden toys, folk art) in Hyderabad. They also sell clothes but you can get better quality at Hyderabad Central without the hassle. You MUST bargain here or you will get fleeced, and the ‘cut their price in half’ strategy from other parts of the world doesn’t apply either. You can frequently get the items for a quarter of their starting price, and they often will laugh at you after you pay them a 200% inflated price. Many stalls sell the same things, so shop around, and the ‘he’s selling it for X’ is often very effective. You should pay between 100-300 Rs for scarves here, depending on the quality. You should NOT pay more than 400 Rs, even for the ‘highest’ quality that they have. If you want to pay more than that, you can get better quality from Hyderabad Central and Saga.

Charminar: Hyderabad’s historic muslim bazaar in the old city, this is often better as a site-seeing event rather than a shopping event because many people find this area overwhelming with the crowds and beggars. Don’t buy pearls here unless you are with someone you know and trust who has a good sense for quality and excellent bargaining talent. This is Hyderabad’s most famous place to buy bangles, and you should bargain, bargain, bargain. You will do significantly better if you learn phrases in Hindi/Urdu, and you should NOT pay more for bangles than you would pay at home. Some German tourists I know spent $30 US on one bangle, which was possibly the biggest rip off I’ve heard of. Glass bangles should cost no more than 3 Rs each at the highest, highest end. I got two bangles per rupee when I went to Charminar in a burkha with a friend from the office, that means that I got 1000 bangles for 500 Rs ($12.50 US). Clay bangles will cost more, and you will be upsold on them because of the high profit margin. Just remember, you can sometimes buy 1000 glass bangles for the price of 1 or 2 clay bangles. Climb the Charminar monument to get a good view of the bazaar from above (100 Rs for foreigners).

Key Shopping Phrases in Hyderabad:

Hydrabadi Hindi/Urdu:

Interesting fact: The Muslims in Hyderabad typically speak Hindi, while the Hindus typically do not. The Hindus typically speak Telugu, a South Indian language written in a unique script that is, and that I am told is the second largest native language in India. Telugu is also the official language of the State of Andhra Pradesh, of which Hyderabad is the capital. When you arrive in Hyderabad, the signs are often written in English, Telugu, and Urdu script (which looks like Arabic).

Pre-bargaining optional bonding time:

Aap kaise hai?

How are you?

MaiN* teek hoong.

I’m fine.

Aap ka naam kya hai?

What’s your name?

Mera naam ___ hai.

My name is ___.

Ja-i-ye.

Please go.

The meaty (non-veg) shopping stuff:

Kitne?

How much?

Asli ki mat kya hai? NahiN* firanghi mat, Hindustani mat.

What’s the real price? Not the foreign price, the Indian price.

Mujhe maloom hai ki yeh dam nahiN sahiN hai.

I know that that is not the best price.

MaiN Hyderabad meN ek/do/teen mahine raha kur ai hoong.

I have been in Hyderabad for one/two/three months. (recommended to gain credibility).

MaiN hindi sikh raha (m) /rahi (f) hoong.

I’m studying (masculine/feminine) Hindi.

MaiN hindi bolta/bolti hoong nahiN bahoot accha.

I don’t speak hindi very well.

Yeh bahoot sundar hai.

It’s very beautiful.

Shukriya.

Thank you.

Pir milenge.

Au revoir/Good bye (implying you will meet again).

Allah hafiz (pron. Alla-feez to my ears).

Adieu/Good bye (implying something is ending or you may not see each other again soon).

*Shukriya and Allah hafiz are Urdu and wouldn’t be used by Hindu Hindi-speakers such as the people in Verinasi.

*N= nasal sound, almost silent at the end of words, but uses a French-sounding nasal that is dependant on the vowel preceding it. Most people will understand you if you just leave it off.

Telugu:

I really only know a few. Asking someone who you think is a Hindu if they speak Telugu can often open doors for you. Then you can say:

Baunava?

How are you?

Bauna.

I’m fine.

Saying anything in Telugu tends to really amuse people because it is such a random language that no one outside of Andhra Pradesh learns, especially Firanghis (white foreigners). Your efforts to speak Telugu are often emphatically appreciated.

Here is another Telugu phrase I know:

Car vacchina tarvata nakku cheppu.

Tell me when the car is here.

Often putting any English word in the place of ‘Car’ (most commonly, ‘Pizza’ ;) can ask a Telugu driver or guard to notify you when X arrives.

MaiN Hyderabad MeN HuN

Well, I'm back in India almost a year after I left. What has changed? The new airport. What hasn't changed? Everything else.

When I arrived, I was first off the plane thanks to my business class seat and ran as fast as I could to customs. Having spent the last 24 hours planning my strategy to not get stuck in the customs line for 2 hours, I wasn't going to let anything stop me from getting there first. I was done in 5 minutes and out the door of the airport in another 5 since I didn't check any luggage (in order to avoid the hour long wait for the bags to come out on the carousel, I managed to stuff everything into a briefcase and a small duffel bag).

As I walked down the stairs, a cleaning boy stared at me, turning his head to keep staring while he tried walking up the stairs, and suddenly (but not unexpectedly) tripped and fell. He kept staring. Then the 8 people working at the duty free shop in the empty airport and wearing spiffy uniforms mistook my glance for interest and called 'madame, madame...duty free? Many nice things to choose!' and I knew I was back in India.

Then I walked outside, breathed in the Hyderabad air that smells like a mix of smoke, incense and humidity, and recognized my driver right away. He also recognized me, a year later. Daram Chand is one of the Hindi-speaking Muslim drivers who I rode with half a dozen times over the 6 months I was here, and I am quite sure he didn't realize that I had ever left.

That is how time works here. It is as if time itself has slowed down to a snail's pace. Even with all of the development that has been rampant, Hyderabad is exactly the same as it was. The same potholed streets are packed full of people and traffic, sputting auto-rickshaws, sputting mopeds with families of 6 riding on them, papaya and lime stands, posters for local politicians, water buffalo, garbage-eating goats, stray dogs, workers carrying rocks on their heads, and the same beggar children who are so mal-nourished that they haven't grown since last year.

Bharat sthan bahoot dilcasp hai.


I went shopping yesterday and used my Hindi to get bargains that even impressed my driver and caused the salesman to bob his head even more virulently than normal. My exchange went something like this:

Goal: 250 each per pashmina.

Me: How Much?
Him: 750 Rupees ($15)
Me: (extreme laughter) Asli ki math kya hai? NahiN firangi Math, Hindustani Math. (No really, how much? Not foreign price, Indian price)
Him: (surprised laughter) You tell me your price.
Me: 100 rupees
Him: 100 rupees! This is 750 rupees!
Me: This is not 750 rupees! I got it for 90 rupees at Charminar!
Him: Charminar! This is not Charminar.
Me: (look in the eye, very serious) MaiN Hyderabad MeN paNch mahine reheti thi. Mujhe maloom hai ki dam nahiN sahiN hai.
(I lived in Hyderabad for 5 months. I know that this is not the best price).
Him: Ok, you tell me.
Me: 100
Him: 600
(10 minutes of numbers)
Him: 300. Final price. Not profit for me. I give to you, no profit.
Me: 2 for 400.
Him: 2 for 600
Me: That's the same as 300 each. I offer you 200 each. 2 for 400.
Him: (head shaking wildly) 250 each.
Me: Calega. (agreed)
750 -> 250 ($15 -> $6.25).


I went to dinner with Shyam, a home-grown Hyderabadi Telugu guy who I used to sit next to in the office. He was one of the first people in the Hyderabad office and I love talking to him about India.

We went to Serengeti, my favorite restaurant in Hyderabad, that happens to have a jungle theme, think 'Rainforest Cafe' except with Indian food and 2-3 waiters hovering around your table at all times waiting for you to look like you may possibly be finished eating your bite of food so that they can serve another scoop to you.

One of the most amusing things about Serengeti was that the waiters used to be dressed up like African guerillas in army fatigues - a costume so politically incorrect in so many ways - and they clearly had no idea what they were wearing and why. Sadly, someone must have pointed this fact out to them within the last year and they have changed their uniforms to be British imperialists in khaki jungle uniforms. The irony of this new uniform choice is possibly more amusing than the guerilla uniforms, since I'm pretty sure most people who go to this restaurant know what British imperialists uniforms look like, seeing as they are the uniforms the Brits wore while imperializing India.

In a moment reminiscent of the imperial era, when we left the restaurant, the valet opened the back door of Shyam's car for me...meaning that he assumed that Shyam was my driver. I said, 'Oh no, I'll be sitting up front thanks' he shrugged and bobbed his head. Modern India is a complicated place.


I am currently enjoying the entertainment of the Star Movies channel 'India's most popular English movie channel.' Star is a conglomerate that owns several channels including a new addition 'Star Cricket' ('All cricket all the time!'). The movie channel generally buys the cheapest English language movies available on the planet and advertises them as if they are good movies. I'm currently watching a made-for-TV movie called 'Dino-Croc' about a genetically engineered monster crocodile that accidentally gets set loose in a nature preserve in LA. A small boy has just snuck onto the nature preserve to find his dog and is being chased by the monster crocodile while a dramatic rendition of the choral finale of Carmina Burana plays. Run little Jimmy, Run!